You say you never even heard of Dr. Ricardo Azziz until a few short months ago? That’s just not right, and it’s a situation that we can all help correct. As a community, we should return Dr. Azziz’ favor and help him rebrand himself. Frankly, his name does not quite have “the cool factor” that it could or should have. This is an exciting and never-to-be repeated opportunity for Dr. Azziz to establish his brand in a new and dynamic manner, one that will afford him recognition, not just locally or even regionally, but nationally and internationally. We’re asking for public input to come up with a new, exciting, vibrant name for Dr. Azziz, one that will facilitate his rebranding and that will launch him into national prominence.
We’re aware that public polling nay not be a very popular way to do things around Augusta at the moment, but be assured of two very important things:
1. We solemnly pledge to carefully consider all the names submitted and to compile them in order of popularity; and
2. We vow to rise above petty voting results. What do you think this is, a democracy? We promise we will not be bound by the will of the people or their united voices. If one particular name suggestion is the clear favorite, we pledge to publicly support it while we secretly endorse whatever our own already-chosen favorite name already is.
We’ll devise a prize package to reward random submissions or the best name submitted or something. Give us some time to figure it out. Just know your submission could result in fabulous rewards. And that your public anonymity will be carefully guarded.
EARLY LEADERS:
• Mister – oops, make that Doctor Magoo
Proving every day that those thick glasses may need an upgrade
• Dr. Sponge-Ricardo Squaredance
Not that every entry needs to make sense, because this one sure doesn’t
• Dr. Ricardo Threehead
Because there’s no way that’s a fourhead
NAMES WE HAD TO REJECT:
• Dumb Azz
• Horzez Azz
• Dr. Retardo Azzhat
People, please. Show a little civility.
Comments
Azziz Knott Southern