LITTLE KNOWN LAWS
Here is an actual federal statute, meaning it is on the books and enforceable in all 50 states.
The golf fan who originated the phrase “IN THE HOLE!” or any version thereof shall be hunted down, castrated, tarred and feathered, all said person’s fingernails shall be removed by pliers (those performing the removal to be awarded by lottery), and said person shall be placed in solitary confinement 23 hours per day for a period of not less than 60 days with the remaining one hour per day to be spent retrieving balls at a driving range without protection. Any fan who yells “IN THE HOLE,” “TO THE HOLE,” “GET IN THE HOLE,” or any version thereof at any PGA or USGA sanctioned golf competition during the course of play shall be escorted from the event and lowered slowly into a vat of boiling oil until said fan renounces the use of the offending phrase in perpetuity, except that should the phrase be yelled accompanying the tee shot on any Par 5 hole, the offending fan shall be banned from the game of golf for life and have his vocal cords removed by a German Shepherd.
