Seriously. The Medical Examiner is seeking to hire a person to sell ads in Augusta’s Most Salubrious Newspaper.
Why are we looking for someone who is attractive, financially set, and with time on their hands? Because we believe in truth in advertising. Straight up, we’re not a huge publication, so it’s not like you can go out and sell a hundred ads. Even so, the Medical Examiner is hardly ad-heavy. We’re ad lite, and we’d like to change that. Second, you’ll be paid by commission. So no sales, no money. You wouldn’t want to depend on this job for the mortgage, two car payments, groceries and the light bill. Even so, the commissions will be generous, and they’ll add up: maybe the first week you’ll sell just two ads, so you’ll only earn two commissions. But the next week you sell three ads. And the next week one more. By this time you’re getting commissions on six ads. It will snowball like that if you’re even halfway decent and you keep at it.* It could add up to some nice change. (Not that you need the money.) And if you’re bored, it will give you something to do a couple days a week, or on any schedule you choose. You’ll be your own boss. Finally, we’re not looking for Brazilian supermodels. We’re not even specifying male or female. Even so, the ideal person should certainly be professional and presentable and neat and clean and articulate and all the other things that make a person look good in a business setting.
In short, we’re not looking for someone who needs a job. We’re looking for someone who wants a job. Experience in advertising sales would be a plus, but if you’re a people person, someone who has never met a stranger, you’ll do just fine even without advertising experience. We’re also looking for someone who will stick with it, so if you’re thinking this might be for you, think some more. If you’ve thought it over and still think you’d like to give it a shot, it would be a pleasure to hear from you. Send a resume – or just a hello letter – to me at
Dan@AugustaRx.com or to:
Dan Pearson, PO Box 397, Augusta, GA 30903-0397
Remember this:
IF YOU DON’T NEED US, WE MIGHT NEED YOU
* Commissions 101: every time your client sends in payment for an ad, you’re paid too. So selling one ad, let’s say for a year, will earn you commissions for a whole year (assuming you’re working for the Examiner that entire time). That’s true for every ad you sell. Hence the snowball effect.