Know what I really hate?
LOSING STUFF!
What a huge waste of time. And there’s always that feeling of the complete idiocy of it all, especially if you’re constantly losing things, or the same things – like keys – over and over. Add in the constant self-recrimination factor – “What an idiot I am!” – and it gets even worse. And as if to prove the point, when you lose something you start out in relatively full possession of your faculties. You look in all the logical places. Then you gradually begin to enlarge the search periphery until you’re looking for missing keys in the freezer and driving slowly down roads you’ve recently traveled, scanning the shoulder for a glimpse of the missing object. Of course, that turns up nothing. (What did you expect? Really.) That’s the signal to begin Round Two, which is looking in all the very places you’ve already checked twice. Better look a third and a fourth time – just in case my laptop was right there under the sink and I missed it the first three times. And sometimes the item is never seen again, leaving you with a vague hope of recovery that gradually flickers lower and lower, and then dies. When you lose all hope and finally replace the lost item at great cost and inconvenience, that is precisely when it will resurface.
Just shut up, will you? And learn how to spell truly while you’re at it.