As a helpful public service, we remind the tens of thousands of Medical Examiner blog readers across the fruited plain that most of these unified states will revert to standard time at 2:00 a.m. tomorrow by the time-honored formula, SPRING FORWARD, AUTUMN REVERT. Or as some say, “Spring Forward, Autumnal Regression.” Either version is fine. (In some areas people are also known to use “Spring Ahead, Autumn Go Back.” Again, we have no objection.) WARNING: DO THIS AT 2:00 a.m. AND NOT BEFORE!
Why at 2:00?
Keep in mind these relevant legal points (taken from Code of Federal Regulations: CFR.18-6.g, subsection B, paragraph 4 as annotated): “It shall be deemed as unlawful for any citizen to change the reading on any CMD (chronometeorological measuring device, i.e., “clock,”) prior to the day and hour appointed for that purpose and function by this act; WHEREAS any clock whose reading is changed by deliberate action prior to 01:59:59:99 a.m. local time, defined as “the time it is locally,” shall be in violation of this decree; FURTHERMORE any person or persons who caused said CMD (chronometeorological measuring device, or “clock”) to be changed, by actions with deliberate aforethought to alter the correct reading at a time prior to 01:59:59:99 a.m. shall be deemed to be guilty of Time Banditry, a Class B felony; of creating a Time Warp in any area or areas within which the face of the altered CMD, i.e., “clock,” shall be visible to any person or persons who shall pass by and see the incorrect reading on the face of the said CMD, i.e., “clock,” which is an Unlawful Act and is, to wit, a Class IV misdemeanor; upon conviction of said offenses, the guilty party or parties shall be confined in a secure facility under guard for a period not less than thirty days nor in excess of 120 days, except if the perpetrator is convicted of a second or third offense, in which case the felon shall be confined to a set period of thirty days of hard labor, hard labor being defined for the purpose of this statute as manning a complaint line for persons attempting to enroll in the Affordable Care Act, said sentence to be carried out in thirty (30) consecutive daily shifts of 12 (twelve) hours each, with two (2) five (5) minute bathroom breaks per twelve (12) hour shift and one (1) ten (10) minute lunch break.
To avoid such legal entanglements, we offer this handy graphic, which suggests the ideal time to set your alarm clock for early tomorrow morning. When the alarm goes off, hit the Snooze Bar once. When the alarm re-sounds ten (10) minutes later, it will be time to “revert” or “regress” your chronometeorological measuring device, or “clock” by exactly sixty (60) minutes. You are welcome.
