Twice a month in my role as World’s Oldest Paperboy I visit literally hundreds of doctors offices over the course of two days. And twice a month I see dozens of people sitting in cars with the engine running as they wait for someone inside. Before you tell me what a cold winter we’ve had this spring, let me cut …
I Hate Monday
There is nothing quite like portion distortion, a fact I learned the hard way. Once upon a time, when I was considerably less nutritionally savvy, I got in the habit of grabbing a quick on-the-go breakfast: Kellogg’s Frosted Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop-Tarts. Like many cereals, Pop-Tarts are fortified with several vitamins and minerals, and I considered that having them with …
I Hate Monday
I hate it when my typewriter goes on the blink and won’t write good sentences – or even come up with good ideas. Maybe I need a new ribbon. . .
I HATE MONDAY
Know what I really hate? LOSING STUFF! What a huge waste of time. And there’s always that feeling of the complete idiocy of it all, especially if you’re constantly losing things, or the same things – like keys – over and over. Add in the constant self-recrimination factor – “What an idiot I am!” – and it gets even worse. …
I Hate Monday
Personally, I’m not sure twerking deserves the place it has in pop culture today. And as you can plainly see, the phenomenon is spreading. And what’s up with these assault balloons? (below)
I Hate Monday
Sure, it happens to be Tuesday at this moment. But there are still hate-worthy things out there. One hateable topic on my mind today is price-gouging. In this corner of the world we have just endured a crippling snow storm, followed by an ice storm that was even worse, and then to top it all off, an earthquake. After the …
I Hate Monday
Do I hate that Philip Hoffman died of a drug overdose? Not particularly. I hate that anyone should die of a drug overdose. Hoffman was incredibly talented. But in their own ways, so are the thousands of nameless addicts who die in obscurity every year, unnoticed by anyone but a few close friends and family. Each and every one of …
I Hate Monday
I wish I was a pharmaceutical company instead of a newspaper publisher. I wish I could make hundreds of millions of dollars on my product even after I have warned my customers about it like this: “May cause headaches, cramping, bloating, rectal bleeding, dizziness, erections lasting more than four hours, explosive diarrhea, some loss of vision and hearing, weight loss, …
I Hate Monday
It’s true. I would not lie to you. There really are flashing lights that drivers can activate. They’re called turn signals. Seriously! What if I told you that you can use them to alert other drivers to your intentions? That is also true. You see, sometimes another driver coming from the opposite direction will be waiting to make a left …